The MoD seems, miraculously, to have got itself into an even deeper mess, ruining its battered reputation with more self-inflicted disasters. First, it scraps Ark Royal and Nimrod spy planes. Then, “No! Stop the wrecking balls! We may need the planes for the no fly zone in Libya!”

And now the ultimate humiliation: we read that Libyan farmers stopped our SAS operation and handed over the soldiers and diplomats to the rebel leaders, who put them on a boat back home.

The police have also hopped on to the PR merry-go-round. Their reputation is as wobbly as a party jelly as they pursue not criminals but gimmicks straight out of the Goon Show. For example, the wheeze to make economy savings by buying up set props and costumes from the now defunct TV series, The Bill.

Shirts, trousers and pullovers were all purchased, along with 29 body armour covers, 28 high visibility jackets, four inspector flat caps and 22 constable bowler hats. This was also seen as a crime prevention measure to stop the public using them to pose as coppers.

Another brainwave previously was to increase a sense of security by getting life-size cardboard cut outs of officers to place in strategic places at £100 a pop. A superb idea till they got nicked. Cost: £20,000.  

Finally, a sensational own goal by Bournemouth Town Council trying to raise its profile and turn itself into Dorset’s Vegas. Yes, they have given planning permission for weddings on the beach. The only snag is the terrible weather, so in case it rains they are building a special beach hut. This will make for intensely intimate events – standing room only.